Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Peter asked Jesus this question while He was teaching His disciples about forgiveness.

Jesus answered, “seventy times seven,” which is 490 times. One may wonder who would actually begin counting offences until they reached such a number.

However, the essence of Jesus’ response was not to establish a numerical limit for forgiveness. Rather, He was teaching that forgiveness should not be governed by a system of counting. A believer should not keep a record of how many times another person has offended him before deciding whether to forgive.

There was a story I heard many years ago about a couple who went for counselling because they were constantly quarrelling. The counsellor instructed both of them to keep a record of the number of times the other person offended them.

When they returned the following day, the wife had recorded several instances in which her husband had offended her. However, when the husband was asked where his record of his wife’s offences was, he replied that he could not remember them. He explained that because of the love he had for her, he had not kept a record of her offences.

This illustrates an important principle: love does not keep a record of wrongs.

When you genuinely love someone, you may recognise an offence, but you will not continually preserve it in your heart as evidence against that person. Instead of keeping a record of offences, you will learn to pray for the person who has offended you.

You who ask, “How many times should my brother offend me before I forgive him?” should also ask yourself, “How many times have I offended God, yet He has chosen to forgive me because of His mercy?”

Consider the sins you have committed since you were young: every act of disobedience, every transgression, and every iniquity against God’s laws and commandments. Yet, in His mercy, He has forgiven you and chosen not to remember those sins against you.

If God has forgiven you of so much, why should you refuse to forgive others? If you desire God not to remember your sins, why should you continually keep records of the offences committed against you?

If God were to mark iniquity, no one would be able to stand. All have sinned and fallen short of His glory. Yet, in His infinite mercy, God forgives and remembers our sins no more.

Why, then, do we continue to keep records of the wrongs of others as though we will live here forever?

Forgiveness is not about counting how many times someone has offended you. It is about reflecting the mercy that God has continually shown toward you.

A person who constantly counts offences is limiting his ability to maintain healthy relationships and to draw people closer to himself in love.

If your heart and thoughts are fixed on God, you will not continually count what others have done against you, let alone preserve those offences in your heart. When you allow offences to occupy your heart, you lose your peace and damage your relationship with God.

Such a person will also struggle to serve God as they should, because the offences of others can become a distraction that keeps them from God’s will and purpose.

Let us therefore learn to forgive as God has forgiven us. Do not keep a record of offences. Do not allow the wrongs of others to become a permanent burden in your heart. Remember the mercy you have received from God, and extend that same mercy to others.

Prayer:
Create in me a new heart, O Lord. Give me a spirit that always loves and forgives. Help me to let go of offences and to walk continually in Your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.